Most men come to this work expecting a strategy session. A list of techniques. Something to apply Monday morning. That's not how this starts.
We slow down, because the pace you run at everywhere else is part of the problem. You can't build capacity at the speed you build a quarterly plan. So we slow down, & we start paying attention to what's actually here. In your body, in your relationship, in the parts of yourself you've gotten good at managing instead of feeling.
Presence is a capacity, & capacity is built the same way strength is: through repeated, structured practice. Insight alone doesn't build it.
Most men who come to me have already had the insight. They know what's wrong. What they've never done is build the actual capacity to stay present when it counts, in their body, in the argument, in bed. That's the work here.
You apply first. If we're a fit on the discovery call & you decide to begin, you complete a thorough intake before our first session. It's thorough on purpose. I want the real picture, not the polished version. What's actually happening in your relationship. What you've tried. What you've never said out loud.
It does real work before the work starts. By the time we're in that first session, I already know where you are, so we don't spend it gathering background. We go straight in.
The mapping happens in the intake: your history, your nervous system, your relationship, the specific places where you go offline. Most men have never mapped this with anyone. Doing it once, clearly, changes what's possible after. It means the first session begins already inside the work.
Eight weeks. One session a week, about ninety minutes, over Zoom. We move through four areas, capacity, sexual mastery, relational confidence, & the dark masculine, two sessions each, closing on the dark masculine on purpose so the work builds toward power instead of ending on repair. The full breakdown, what's included, & the investment live on The Offer page →
If it fits, we can build in an intensive. A day or a day & a half together in Nevada City. Some men want this at the start, as a deep-dive into the intake. Others want it at the end, as the culmination of the eight weeks.
Everything here moves through three layers: body, shadow, & relationship.
Body. Capacity lives in the nervous system before it lives in your understanding. Breath, stance, the physical skill of staying present when intensity rises. Without this layer, insight doesn't hold.
Shadow. Shadow work means finding the parts of yourself you learned to disown, because somewhere along the way they weren't safe or weren't welcome, your anger, your desire, your need, & building a relationship with them instead of keeping them locked away. Every week, you speak into it. A private app tracks what you say & shows you the pattern as it forms, not just the moment.
Relationship. The place where all of it gets tested. Your capacity, your shadow, your presence, it all shows up first in the room with her. This is where the work becomes real instead of theoretical.
Sexual energy. The current running under the other three. The body work is partly about learning to direct it instead of spending it without thinking. The shadow work is partly about the desire you learned to hide or rush past. & it's usually the first place a relationship goes quiet. We work it directly, starting week one, not as a side conversation.
I draw on IFS, Shadow work, EFT-informed practices, somatic work, & nervous system regulation to move through these layers. You don't need to know what any of that means going in. They're tools I use to do the actual work. Building your capacity, accessing what you've shut down, restoring presence. The tools matter less than what changes in you.